What to Do When Your Marriage Is in Crisis: A Step-by-Step Guide for the Spouse Who Still Believes

What to Do When Your Marriage Is in Crisis: A Step-by-Step Guide for the Spouse Who Still Believes

When your marriage feels like it's falling apart, the pain is unbearable. You’re likely searching for clarity, asking yourself questions like:

• “Is there still hope?”

• “Can I fix this on my own?”

• “What do I even do next?”

At Ren and Adelé™, we know what it’s like to face the wreckage of broken trust, separation, or even betrayal—and still want to fight for your marriage. That’s why we created this step-by-step guide to help you find your footing and take practical, hope-filled steps forward.

1. Pause the Panic: You Don’t Need All the Answers Today

When your marriage is in crisis, the temptation is to act from fear. You may want to text obsessively, plead, or make big decisions overnight. But the most powerful first move? Pause. Breathe. Pray.

God is not in a rush, and neither should you be. Clarity comes when chaos quiets.

“Be still, and know that I am God.” – Psalm 46:10

2. Work on What You Can Control: You

This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about reclaiming your power and owning your contribution to the state of your marriage. You are NOT taking responsibility for your spouse's actions, you are simply acknowledging that you have space to change. You can’t force your spouse to return or engage—but you can grow.

Focus on these 5 areas of personal attraction:

• Spiritual – Deepen your walk with God

• Emotional – Learn to self-regulate instead of react

• Intellectual – Feed your mind with wisdom

• Physical – Care for your body with dignity and strength

• Social – Reconnect with healthy support systems

This work doesn’t just make you more attractive. It makes you more anchored.

3. Don’t Chase—Stand Strong Instead

In our coaching, we see it over and over: the more you chase a drifting spouse, the further they run. It’s heartbreaking—but true.

Standing doesn’t mean passivity. It means holding steady in love, even when things feel hopeless.

Set healthy boundaries. Speak with kindness. Stay available without being desperate.

4. Get Help from Those Who’ve Been There

Don’t walk this path alone. Whether through coaching, community, or support resources, surround yourself with people who get it.

At Ren and Adelé™, we’ve helped hundreds of people stand strong through crises like:

• Affairs

• Addiction

• Separation

• No contact

• Emotional shutdown

And we’ve lived it ourselves.

5. Cling to Hope, Not Outcomes

Your identity is not tied to your spouse’s choices.

Even if they’re distant, angry, or in another relationship, your healing can begin now. Our story is living proof that redemption is possible—but even if it weren’t, your growth would still be worth it.

Final Thoughts

When your marriage is in crisis, it’s easy to believe you’ve failed. But friend, crisis is often the beginning—not the end.

You are not powerless. You are not alone. And you are not done.

Helpful Next Steps

📞 Book a coaching call with Ren or Adelé:
Ren’s Calendar
Adelé’s Calendar

🤝 Join our Marriage Heroes Community – Get support, courses, and a tribe that won’t let you walk alone:
JOIN HERE

📚 Explore our resources at:
https://www.renandadele.com